Archive for the 'Humour' Category

Joke for Sharks fans

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Two boys are playing cricket on a field in Durban, when one is attacked by a vicious Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy took his cricket bat and managed to wedge it down the dog’s collar and twist, luckily breaking the dog’s neck and stopping its attack.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

“Young Sharks Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal,” he starts writing in his notebook.

“But I’m not a Sharks fan,” the little hero replied.

“Sorry, since we are in Durban, I just assumed you were,” said the reporter and starts again : “Free State Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack,…” he continued writing in his notebook.

“I’m not a Free State fan either!”, the boy said.

“I assumed everyone in Durban was either for the Sharks or the Cheetahs. “So what team DO you root for?” the reporter asked.

“I’m a Blue Bulls fan!, the child beamed.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, “Little B@stard from Pretoria Kills Beloved Family Pet.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Thanks to Ant for this one!

A glimpse of South Africa

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

Koos: “Goeie Dag Meneer, dis Koos wat praat”

Percy: ” I’m sorry Sir, I can’t speak Afrikaans”

Koos: “Ag, no problem mate, I are looking for bands for my kar.”

Percy: “Excuse me?”

Koos: “You know!! Bands… what the kar runs on!”

Percy: “I don’t have a clue what you are talking about.”

Koos: (skree in die agtergrond in )”Ag Fok Frik, wat is die donnerse Engelse woord vir tyres nou weer?”

Rugby Joke

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007

A little girl was sitting in her classroom in England when her teacher

Walked in and started talking about how proud she is to be English and

How wonderful it is to be an England supporter. The teacher then asked

Everyone who supported England to put up their hand. Every hand in the class besides one went up. This surprised the teacher and so she asked the little girl why her hand wasn’t up.

“Well,” said the little girl, “because I don’t support England.”

Even more surprised, the teacher asked her who she supported.

“I support the Springboks”, she replied.

Now a bit irritated, the teacher asked the little girl why she

supported the Springboks.

“My mom supports the Springboks, and my dad supports the Springboks, so I support the Springboks.”

The teacher looked at the little girl and with a smirk asked: “Well, if

your mom was an idiot and your dad was an idiot, what would you be?”

The little girl looked up at her teacher, smiled and replied:

“An England supporter!”

What about this company?

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

373 in total or approximately 70%
Can you guess which organization this is?
(more…)

Funny police comments

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the US:

16 “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

14 “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

13 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

12 “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

11 “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
(more…)


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